Conflicts assignment

Actually, our group members got along well with each other in the past months and there is no conflict among us. However, in other courses, strict requirements and competition may induce a series conflicts between individuals. Therefore, we assume the team scenarios in developing our individual analysis. I want to control the completion of all assignments and they agreed that I took the
responsibility to integrate the group work. We have established an arrangement about the delivery time, but I think both of them downplayed this time. It was common that I could not find Kio when the time approached. Because he always stayed up too late, and it is impossible to contact with him before 12am. Karol had many classes and projects to finish, when I asked her about the delivery time, she said ok, but she could not submit her portion on time just said that she forgot. I did not fail in any assignment but I think they do not attach importance to these group work. We have talked about this and quarreled many times, but it got worse.

For this situation, I was angry with them at first and I have planned that face-to-face meeting might make sense. However, we all thought we were right and did not want follow others standards and recommendations. Afterwards, I thought we have a long term to study together, if we cannot solve the conflicts, we might fail in each group assignment.

Firstly, it was not wide of the mark that we had the agreed time to delivery time, but we do have different habits to accomplish work. Indignation occupied our minds and we all had no time to address the factors those concealed inside the conflicts. Actually, I was strict with the time since I want control everything before deadline. And my words and tone were not calm and persuasive when I want to express that they should hand on in time, which might be as a result of my aggressive personality. Furthermore, Karol selected many difficult courses, which put her under pressure. Consequently, if she did not have good time management skills, she would get flurried in many cases. Her personality made her have less communication with us, so I considered that she just did not take our group work into account. Essentially, our habits to manage time are established from young age and growth environment, thereby hard to change. Moreover, for Kio, his time arrangement was well-organized, but he would like to finish work staying up too late. Sometimes, we have to acknowledge that folks have drawn their inspiration from quiet midnight. And the characters of Kio made him develop the habit of ruminating alone and at night.  

Solution

When I asked Kio and Karol to deliver their parts, I was in typically bad manner. We should not attempt to change other people because we have various personalities from dissimilar growth environment. However, we want to improve the performance of cooperation. It seems that POWER and PAYMENT cannot make sense in our team work. Therefore, I want to ameliorate, persuasion will play a role. In the previous work, I realized that assertiveness made me decisive and focus on the data (logos oriented), so I should be directed to likable/emotionally intelligent dimension and be more respectful and appreciative.  

Perspective taking is advantageous under this situation. I have read some articles about “I message”, which might contribute to group collaboration. An example of this would be to say: "I really am getting backed up on my work since I don't have the report yet," rather than: "you didn't finish the financial on time!" The Ohio Commission on Dispute Resolution and Conflict Management summarized this approach as follows: "A sender of a message can use a statement that begins with 'I' and expresses the sender's feelings, identifies the unwanted behavior, and indicates a willingness to resolve the dispute, without using 'you' statements or engaging in positional problem solving.Therefore, when it comes, we should not blame others. Calm down and do not consider others fault but yours.

For conflicts, we cannot avoid them not only in our group work period and also in further life. They are not the invincible monster, and in reality they appear like trainers who will teach us what differentiations mean. They will bring you to know the people, the variety and the world. It also like a mirror in which you can understand what kinds of defects you have and how to step forward. When contradiction shows up, locate the crux reason and introspect yourself whereby eliminating your inner negative emotions, which may mitigate the risks of conflicts.